{"id":7033,"date":"2022-06-17T15:20:35","date_gmt":"2022-06-17T14:20:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/evoruka.org\/pomozite-mi-potrebna-mi-je-pomoc\/"},"modified":"2022-08-05T08:29:29","modified_gmt":"2022-08-05T08:29:29","slug":"help-me-i-do-not-need-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/evoruka.org\/en\/help-me-i-do-not-need-help\/","title":{"rendered":"Help me, I do (not) need help!"},"content":{"rendered":"

A couple of days ago we had our association meeting where we discussed psychological support to parents of children with developmental disabilities and rare diseases, which we would like to establish as a regular activity. Following a delivery of 12 workshops aimed at parents of younger children, we realized how difficult it was to prompt people to attend workshops and become dedicated to working on themselves and solving their internal issues and fears. All attention is normally directed at children and their therapies and potential \u2019cure\u2019. We, older mothers, i.e. mothers of elder children, know from experience how important it is to start working on oneself and reconciling with the situation we ended up in.
\nRECONCILIATION DOES NOT MEAN GIVING UP. IN OUR CASE, IT MEANS ACCEPTANCE AND CONTINUING STRUGGLE IN A CONSCIOUS STATE.
\nIt turned out that, although all questionnaires and research conducted so far indicated that there was a \u2019need for psychological support\u2019 as one of the most important aspects of support to parents of children with developmental disabilities, parents most frequently were not ready to accept it when available.
\nMarina thought aloud about her journey of \u2019becoming open towards people with the same problems\u2019 and achieving her own calm and reconciliation. She says that joining the SUPPORT GROUP FOR MOTHERS OF CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITIES, \u2019EVO RUKA\u2019 changed her life![image_with_animation image_url=”6569″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”Fade In” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”center” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”]A lot of time passes until you decide to seek help.<\/span><\/p>\n

My thoughts at the moment of realising that my child had a developmental disabilities issue was:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I must have done something wrong to have an autistic child. I hope nobody finds out. I\u2019d better keep quiet and say I\u2019m fine and I don\u2019t need anything.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s my fault, and now I should suffer alone, without any help. She\u2019s my concern and my responsibility. It\u2019s her who\u2019s important – whatever becomes of me.<\/span><\/p>\n

What I\u2019m going through is nobody\u2019s business. I don\u2019t need help.<\/span><\/p>\n

This child is the most important thing in my life. Life isn\u2019t at all easy.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t deserve help, so I won\u2019t seek it.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

When I started considering therapy in order to help myself, my thoughts were:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m beyond help.<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t afford it. I need money for speech therapy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Why even bother trying if I cannot go on regular basis. Better not start at all.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve got nobody to leave the child with, my husband works.<\/span><\/p>\n

The therapist won\u2019t understand what I\u2019m going through. Who knows what the therapist will think about me? What if I cry there?<\/span><\/p>\n

Who cares what\u2019s going on with my child. They\u2019ll listen because they have to. I\u2019d better not bother them.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m just taking someone else\u2019s time, who might actually benefit from it. I\u2019m beyond help.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Once I have joined the group:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Let others talk, I\u2019m ok just listening.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll reply briefly so as not to take time, there are people in more difficult situations than me here.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wow, how brave these mothers are, I\u2019d never dare say this.<\/span><\/p>\n

Their problems are the same as the problems I have with my daughter; imagine, she\u2019s not the only one doing that.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

And the day comes when your burden falls off your soul and melts through tears and words. You talk and cry and feel comfortable doing that because you\u2019re in a safe environment, among people who share your suffering. You understand that you\u2019re not alone and that they\u2019re genuinely interested in your story. They absorb your experience and offer ideas how to solve problems. Your view on the world changes. The child is important, but you are important, too. Your wellbeing is important.<\/span><\/p>\n

Let go of the burden whenever you can. You have things to say and there will always be someone who finds your words precious. You\u2019re not alone or the only one.<\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t waste time, join and be part of the support circle. There\u2019s someone there waiting to hear your story.<\/span>[image_with_animation image_url=”6566″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”Fade In” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”center” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”]<\/p>\n

\n

Evo ruka Association organises a wide range of activities aimed at supporting and empowering mothers and parents of children with developmental disabilities. Support groups and psychodrama can significantly help in the process of untangling difficult feelings. So, feel free to contact us on social media or write us an email. You can only grow and heal once you become part of the community that can understand and support\u00a0 you.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A couple of days ago we had our association meeting where we discussed psychological support to parents of children with developmental disabilities and rare diseases, which we would like to establish as a regular activity. Following a delivery of 12 workshops aimed at parents of younger children, we realized how difficult it was to prompt […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":7029,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rank_math_lock_modified_date":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[163],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7033","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-moms-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/evoruka.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7033"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/evoruka.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/evoruka.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/evoruka.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/evoruka.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7033"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/evoruka.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7033\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7035,"href":"https:\/\/evoruka.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7033\/revisions\/7035"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/evoruka.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7029"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/evoruka.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7033"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/evoruka.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7033"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/evoruka.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7033"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}